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Day 9: Wow! Vancouver Fringe Festival

Diane, Media Personality, fills you in on the sensational exploits of the Clowns:

Ladies and gentlemen, I know you're expecting a lot, and I am here with all the dirt. Thursday, that un-assuming day, let me spill some Thursday dirt! But not on my blouse- it's silk! Getting dirt out of silk is a pain in the rear, let me tell you. That was the beginning and end of my gardening experience, one shirt ruined forever and I said 'no more!.' If I have to look scrubby, there is no way I'm doing it, no sirree Bob.

But right, back to the clowns. They postered up the entire Commercial Drive in an eleborate tape-run-and-drive scheme. Like black ops wearing red noses, let me tell you! After some on the job training with the charming and talented Rory Ledbetter, best known for his amazing show (We're seeing it tonight, I really can't wait, folks) A Mind Full of Dopamine, the clowns worked on some catchy jingles for bringing people into the house. As in: the theatre, for those of you who don't know the lingo, no need to wipe your feet at the door! Although I'm sure the front-of-house staff wouldn't complain if you did- they just put in new carpeting... Anyway, ukulele, kazoo, and ryhmes make for wonderful publicity devices. As would some kind large sign. A Billboard! That is what they need! Maybe a series of billboards. With clever little slogans like 'See Mom? before she dies' and 'Clowns Bring Death and Laughter to VanCity!.' Now that's what I call advertising.

Oh, speaking of death, I saw the saddest thing yesterday. Well, sad, but also funny, and with so much dino-fun that I felt like I was back on that Paleo Diet that Patty tried to get me into. I caved with the carbs though- I never met a carb I didn't like! Anyway, the show- Paleoncology- well it was beautiful, and the puppetry was just amazing. I was practically sobbing at the end. Patty was embarassed, let me tell you. But Ted was dry eyed as can be, he said he'd finished crying about dinosaurs back in the first grade when his teacher told them about extinction.

Look at the time folks, time for me to get out on the town! It's showtime somewhere, right?

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